Urban Safari Holiday brochure
GENERIC CITY SAFARIS invites you to join us for a delightful urban safari.
Come and enjoy the amazing sights of an urban sprawl. Experience the real-life atmosphere of grid-locked roads during the “rush hour”. With GENERIC CITY SAFARIS you can witness species in their natural habitat: the tired office worker, the wandering tourist, and the retired drinkers. The lucky few may even chance upon that rarity – the sophisticated homeless person (for GUARANTEED sightings of this most amazing sight, see the section on guided tours below).
Accommodation: At GENERIC CITY SAFARIS we provide you with accommodation to suit YOUR needs. Whether that be walls or running water, we can satisfy all your most basic needs. However, for that most authentic of city experiences, we recommend our Deluxe Cardboard rooms. These rooms, refurbished daily, are constructed from the most exquisite corrugated cardboard boxes. With built-in air conditioning and dramatic city-views, the Deluxe Cardboard rooms must be seen to be fully appreciated.
Dining: On your GENERIC CITY SAFARI you will feast on all the local
delicacies. Our tour guides know all the best dining establishments,
so your journey will be filled with such culinary delights as kebabs,
hot dogs from street vendors, packets of crisps obtained from
functioning vending machines. Friday nights are our special takeaway
nights – that’s right! Those of you with us on Fridays will get to
have your very own takeaway. That’s worth the journey on its own.
The natural sounds of the city: You can’t get through A GENERIC CITY
SAFARI without the sounds of the city. Depending on your location you
can enjoy the sounds of honking horns, pneumatic drills, drunken
fights, ridiculously loud music, and much, much more. Disclaimer:
although hearing aids can be provided, those vacationers who are hard
of hearing may not be able to fully enjoy this aspect of their
GENERIC CITY SAFARI.
Families: GENERIC CITY SAFARIS are suitable for families as well as individual travellers. Children of all ages are most welcome and are highly unlikely to go missing during your holiday.
Guided tours: A GENERIC CITY SAFARI experience would not be complete without one of our world-renowned guided tours. We offer tours of all the highlights, or if you prefer, those areas off the beaten track. Tours include “The Two Pub Pub Crawl”, “The Sophisticated Homeless”, “Taxi-spotting”, and our most popular “Road works and Other Traffic”. During the summer we also offer a “Street-cleaning” tour, allowing our guests to become one with the city through its discarded street-litter.
Location: We offer safaris in a large number of generic cities, and this number is increasing every day. For information on your nearest GENERIC CITY SAFARI contact us by shouting really, really loudly.