Alternative Weapons Inc.

Notes for the big presentation

Introduction.

Thank everyone

We are Alternative Weapons Inc.

Purpose:
New development of technologically advanced weapons

 

Slide 1

Firm set up in 1956

Aim: To invent weapons that can be easily disguised

Now have our FIRST EVER range of weapons.

 

Slide 2

Development process – history

Consumer surveys in late 1950s.

  • Highlighted lack of “disguisable” weapons
  • 10 years spent on developing “broom guns” and kettle grenades.
  • Unsuccessful so swept under the carpet

*pause for laughter*

More consumer surveys in 1970s

  • Importance of making veterans feel useful.

In the past decade

  • Government military cutbacks
  • Need to cut costs

 

Slide 3

Development process of current weapons

Goals we need to satisfy:

  1. Weapons need to be disguisable.
  2. Weapons need to be used by Vietnam vets
  3. i.e. the old
  4. *mention possibility of getting vets involved in the army*
  5. Weapons need to be cheap to build

 

Slide 4

The main attraction – remember the MOCK DRUM ROLL

The “Zimmer” frame

Basic features:

  • tubular steel frame
  • rubberised handles for extra grip
  • front legs contain shot-guns
  • pull back on handles to load
  • twist to fire
  • patented StabilityPro(TM) 5 leg layout

poss: demonstration? Need to find an old person to operate it. Searchnursing homes.

 

Slide 5

Zimmer is fully customisable

instead of shot-guns, can have:

  • Tommy gun
  • RPG launcher
  • Rifle
  • Dart Gun
  • Water squirter

comes in a range of colours

  • black
  • silver
  • camo

other optional extras

  • knife sheath
  • radio antenna
  • shopping basket

Price:
£100 for the zimmer + £500k for the weaponisation

Buy 10 and we’ll throw in a free Shuriken holder with each zimmer.

 

Slide 6

Other weapons in the range:

Armoured mobility scooter:

  • 2 person capacity
  • Speed: 2-4mph
  • Range: 10-15 miles
  • Weaponry: Manned Machine gun

Explosive “Fixodent”

  • 1lb is equivalent to 10lbs of C4
  • Sticks to all materials, including gums

Robotic Shopping basket

  • 2 robotic arms
  • Blast Shield
  • Can hold all your weekly shopping

 

Slide 7

Sum up

Any questions?

Note – likely questions:

When can these weapons be ready?

Do we get discounts for bulk purchases?

What other weapons do you have in development?

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About Rohan

A bit weird

Posted on 01/10/2011, in Parody and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

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