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The show must go on

No, it’s OK. The show will go on. This is just a minor setback. The
stage-hand didn’t mean to drop the chest of drawers on Dave’s foot.
If anything Dave was to blame for having his foot under the chest of
drawers anyway. Dave’s understudy is getting ready now, so it should
be fine. All he’s got to do is find someone to play his part and then
we’ll be fine.

You mean having the lead actor’s understudy playing a supporting role
isn’t particularly clever? Well, there are plenty of jobbing actors
hanging out round the back of the building. We’ll just have to get
one that isn’t too high from huffing glue. And it’s not as though
anything else can go wrong.

What’s that? Part of the gantry has fallen down? How on earth did that
happen? Well is the lighting guy injured? A couple of broken bones?
Tell him to get back up there and fix the lighting then. We might be
able to replace an actor, but there’s a real shortage of lighting
techs now.

Unfortunately half of the sets were destroyed in a fire last week, so we’re having to make do with sets made from cardboard and double-sided tape. Yeah, we’ve roped in the cast’s children to help. Although that means some of the dancers have come down with shingles, we’ve made real progress with the sets. Plus, the kids get to learn about the theatre too, so everyone wins.

Right. Almost ready now. Bugger; where have the plastic swords gone? Melted? Balls! We’ll just have to use the real ones. And they’ve just been sharpened too. Well, there’s no choice now. What can go wrong anyway?

OK guys – curtain up in five. And remember to watch out for the fire-breathing dragon in the front twenty rows.